Creative Spanko Wench Blog

OK, so I let work and life get in the way of staying on top of blogging responsibilities. Darn! I even made a point to double check the LOL post date a couple of weeks ago so I would make sure not to forget. Ahhhh well I hope y’all will understand why I was distracted.

Last week I had to drive to Houston (7 hours each way) in a rental car that I could not adapt to (BT cruisers are NOT short leg person friendly and standard models DON’T have cruise control). Some readers may already know that I’ve become a somewhat reluctant driver especially when it comes to high speed traffic in congested areas. Well, I ended up situated in a hotel 8 miles from my duty point. Seemed like a smart choice considering the route to and from was a straight shot both ways. Well it wasn’t. 8 miles in the thick of rush hour traffic on one of Houston’s more dangerous and less well engineered freeways became 20 - 40 minutes of merge/weave/jockey and sweat. I never did get the mirrors set so I could actually see without craning. That car has blind spots like no other! Not to mention that torrential rains fell as I entered Houston, went to work and returned to my hotel for three of the four days I was there.

I didn’t sleep much at all while I was up there. Once I got home late Friday, I was exhausted.

I wanted to post a lurker tribute montage video with some of my older drawings. I will do it soon actually but I simply haven’t had time to further build it from where I had it when the idea came and I first began working on it. I have an office week this week so I will try to use my evenings blogwiser. I’m back on the road again next week so I’d better use this week wisely … in fact it may be a while after that (mid December) before I get some predictable home time. I will be staying at a hotel with liberal and safe free internet access next week though so maybe I will get to be online within this community.

Wonderful thing, depending on if you’re a kitty or not, is my kitty’s travel with me now. My trips with this new job take me farther afield than they did in my old job but they are concentrated over 4-5 days instead of just one overnight stay like they were. Cost constraints mean that it’s more cost effective to rent a car (under corporate contract agreement) with unlimited mileage for a week (if I travel more than 200 miles) than it is based on the federal $0.55/mile rate using my personal vehicle and being reimbursed for mileage. So,,,, I now will be making no money on travel. EEEEP! I’d sorta counted on it. It used to net me 3 to 4 hundred bucks extra every few weeks over and above gas & maintenance. Good thing is It’ll save the wear and tear on my car and future heavy use related/unknown maintenance costs.

OK so enough excuse making. I missed Love our Lurker’s (LOL) day. I apologize. I did plan to participate but my assignments got flipped around and I got buried under work stuff I didn’t plan for or anticipate. I know I have a lot of lurkers just based on the traffic statistics I get. Thousands of unique weekly visitors translate to comments made by just a few. Hey, I can relate. I’m an appreciative daily to weekly lurker to hundreds of sites and blogs. I delurk only very rarely now. Shyness seems to overwhelm me lately.

I would like to hear from any regular visitors who’ve never commented, or who rarely comment. It’s nice to know who’s there. Of course if you’re new and plan to come back it would be nice to hear from you too .

Oh and George, you will be happy to know that new chapters of Winter Wonders and Lindy’s Choice are almost ready for posting. They will be my Thanksgiving/Christmas presents to my readers along with some new drawings I’m holding onto for them.

Well folks, sorry this is the best I can do for LLL (late lurker loving). Like all the other bloggers who posted, I really want all of my readers to know that I really appreciate your visits and look forward to seeing your footprints through my cyberspace home.

All the Best & come again, even if you don’t feel like posting a comment.

:) patty

Trying again….

Some more fun with my software … and a very spankable hint too.

Cane Iac Patty paddles vid

larger version…

Cane Iac Patty paddles vid

An acronym that was most used and possibly coined by an old friend and mentor Ross…. This thing we do … montage # 1.

Hope you like it…. Edit: 10/5/09 … If you get the Erotica video 1st, click the link above the video box that says This Thing We Do. If it doesn’t immediately start playing click the forward arrow bottom left of the video screen.

Spanking - this thing we do

all the best…

patty

You may need to install the newest version of Quicktime to view this montage the way I made it….

Erotica Montage

While I’m restoring my muse I’m playing with my toys. Alas my veggie gene has kept me from bringing in my new all in one printer scanner… gotta do it before next weekend … just not today… lemme know if you’re able to enjoy the montage

I have accepted a transfer to a new position with my employer. Beginning next month I start a whole new training period that will prepare me for a position that for once melds all of my professional background and experience. I’ve been a nurse for 27 years now. The last 16 years in management; 7 as a critical care educator, 8 as a Quality & Risk Management Director and this past year in a venue that puts me on the regulatory monitoring side. Well starting next month I will be in a job that will have me training healthcare facilities about the regulations, how to be in compliance with them and what to expect from regulatory investigators.

Much further but more condensed travel will be involved, but the schedule will eventually be mine to set up in advance and I will almost always travel distances for stays that will let me bring my kitties with me and use my own car rather than come and go 55 miles each way every day or fly and lose money on taxis and hotel room service. I already have four whole weeks set up for different stretches of 4 - 7 days through mid November and for all I have to drive get paid mileage and meals (I’ve picked hotels with kitchens to stretch my food dollar all the way.)

I know the curriculum, have some great first hand experiences to give it life and I’ll get out of my shell, back to some extroversion and back to the fun I had teaching. I know my personality is iNFj (weakly expressed introvert, strongly expressed intuitive and feeler and moderately expressed judger. My judger aspect actually lost ground a bit this year and last round of testing put it to almost neutral. Supposedly that makes me a good negotiator/mediator since the two traits that affect my approach to diversity and discord are close to neutral meaning I identify easily with both sides and can interpret one for the other and vice versa. Actually when it comes to the job I have now I have been criticized/teased for being too much of a middle ground person - aka - too soft and empathetic. I prefer to think of my understanding of the challenges faced by healthcare agencies as pragmatic and realistic and the regulations and standards as reasonable, but idealistic when it comes to implementation and enforcement. Too many rules conflict with each other and were written by legislators and paper professional who have no practical experience on the front lines where the real paper/rubber meets the real road and truly affects the lives of healthcare consumers.

Introverts need quiet time to recharge. What better way to compensate for the extroversion of presenting complex and sometimes contentious information to diverse groups than to have built in travel days on either end of what amounts to a three day training week? Yeah sometimes I’ll have to travel on Sunday and come back the next Saturday but that won’t be the rule. My strength for the job is that I like and possess expertise in some unpopular subject matter. I’m told that will take me hither and yon because other trainers would prefer not to tackle it.

Goals are great, implementing them in the land where no man has gone before and finding best practices is by no means an easy task and trust me, those agencies who stumble on strategies that actually work DO NOT share (unless surreptitiously offered bragging rights) with their competition. So, I’m really looking forward to being able to be a middle gal… someone who can suggest multiple approaches that I have seen work to whole audiences without disclosing trade secrets or daring to tell anyone how I think they should do it… “Here are some approaches that I’ve seen work, you pick one that fits your world, culture and staff.” Or even put the question out to a room full of folks and ask them “how they’re approaching a difficult requirement and what strategies have they found helpful/useful/successful?” I’m so looking forward to it, though I have no illusions. I’ve presented training to diverse groups before and found the diversity so contentious I lost control and the day devolved to a dismal loss. It didn’t happen often, at least not in my meeting/classroom experience, maybe five times in 17 years - four were physician committee meetings where I was the (kevlar required) messenger of bad news or unpopular regulatory requirements, and once was when I tried to present the most popular course I developed and taught (a blood gas interpretation workshop) to neonatal ICU nurses instead of adult/pedi ICU and student nurses … hey I was pressured to do it against my better judgement … hey I do adults … hey I used info from neonatal ICU text books … hey I had no idea that the Neonatologists in the area didn’t know or follow the text books… arrrrgggh! One nurse went on the attack after 30 minutes and I never did regain respect or control over the classroom atmosphere even though I reminded them from minute one that I was not a practitioner in their world and never claimed to be. Under duress, I put together the continuing education course for them and could not find anyone other than one MD to present the case studies… I got stuck with the pathophysiology of the numbers the physiology of how the body reacts to abnormal… accurate as my information was, it didn’t correspond to the existing practice norms or the nurses’ understanding and my experience did not prepare me to anticipate or adapt the the radical divergence from published, endorsed and accepted practice. I learned a hard lesson… when you’re the messenger only, never take any personal stance on or ownership of your message - this is what the evidence recommends, it may not be something workable where you are - you may well have to take what does work for you now and tweak the new requirements to fit your world…

Well that’s it for me these days. One good thing, is that having to empty the back of my car to accommodate travel with kitties and hauling training materials will force me to get my 5 month old ‘new’ printer/scanner inside this house where it’s likely I will actually get around to scanning some of my new artwork for y’all. No promises for the short term. I’ve broken too many already right George….

Not much new on the spanking front. A bit more self service, some e-mails with potential new friends. Slow and careful …

hope y’all are well.

:) patty

Old drawing, new to this blog….

Found a way to post my alaska trip in slide shows here… I put them on you tube. So for those who’ve been asking, here they are…. [edit 09/19/090 changed the music tracks for each - Skagway to Yukon has given me some trouble .. i’t give it another try -fuck it Skagway is stuck with the soundtrack Quicktime gave it.]

Stop 1 (after a day traveling up the inside passage) Ketchican and a walking tour of the Tungass Rainforest… Lots of bear sign and sightings…

Stop 2: Juneau. A very gloomy morning, a town with a bad attitude and a pilot with the worst attitude possible. Views were nice, but it wasn’t always clear what we were looking at.

I’ve noted that since adding videos that this page loads quite slowly. So the rest of the legs of the trips will be links.

Or you can go Just Life to my vanilla place and watch them all.

Juneau - after the gloom: We left Juneau’s gloom for a sunnier climps. Was coolish, but gorgeous.

Skagway - a blessing … no rain and a neat train ride that shadowed the old Yukon gold rush trail. I got a few images of the old trail in this slide show… hope you enjoy the slide show’s ending with sunset views…

… lovely sunset…

And Prince Rupert … A very bright and enthisiastic Quebecqua (pronounce kaybekqwa) bush pilot chattered with us through the whole trip and it was amazing… there was an even more glorious sunset.

lemme know if you like it…

got pointed to some awwwwwww videos on you tube by a new email friend. This one was especially nice. plenty more just go to you tube and search kittens….

I’ve had a rough week. A two day assignment some office time and now a bout with a stomach bug. Lots of folks I know have come down with something, so I guess it’s just one of those things even though I’ve become a bit of a hand wash and sanitizer compulsive. Tomorrow I’m on the road again, sure hope my symptoms subside before then.

Her spankings have been very scarce
And her mood has approached something fierce
But there’s never a doubt
That the right choice will out
Past time spanks induce giggles not terse.

This from a news report posted on AOL tonight …

‘In a recording of a legislative hearing, Duvall [a California Assemblyman] can be heard talking about a recent sexual escapade with a woman he says is 18 years younger.

“I’m getting into spanking her,” Duvall is heard to say on the videotape.

The other man asks if she likes it, too. Duvall responds: “She goes, ‘I know you like spanking me.’ I said, ‘Yeah, that’s ’cause you’re such a bad girl.’ ”

Now ya just gotta know that you just never know …. LOL.

oh and p.s. this spanklitician has (oops had) the right (afraid-of sex) wing family values set giving him 100% approval ratings for his votes and position statements related to morality. No I don’t fault him his tastes or appetites. He’s a human being with desires. Just dumb about it. Wonder if we’ll ever get a politician with spanko and liberal sexual ideas to come out on purpose and not by such a predictable and arguably sad accident. Sure makes me think again… and again … and again….

There once was a likable gal
Who went down on one very hot pal
He was ever so grateful
The effect was quite fateful
Red hot chillies! The gaul!

Yummy lookin’ ain’t he….. and I wonder how it would feel if right after nibbling on him I put my mouth to work on the real fella?

Ahhhhh doncha just love having spankable thoughts rattle around in your brains? I sure do. Yummy.

After the first song plays you can pick a new one…. All good this quiet day. Memories keeping me company and what’s next playing possum on my mind’s eye these days… enjoy.

As happens every now and then I was the recipient of a lovely wet dream early this morning. It happens. It wasn’t daylight yet when I first surfaced from it, so I turned and dozed off again and wonder of all wonders it picked up where it left off.

In my dream I was paddled to orgasm once and then again, and each time I woke up to that deep tenting sensation that comes with the rhythmic spasms of that wondrous thing that makes us sexual beings.

I had to get on the road early today - long drive & three overnights in a hotel this trip. But since I packed and loaded my suitcase in the car last night there was no rush to get up until three hits of the snooze button, and I was awake, fresh and in need all the way, twenty minutes before the alarm was set. Soooo… I got up, went pee and decided to get a paddle. I haven’t had a good spanking in a while, and I’ve resisted the urge to self satisfy for quite a while. But, not this morning. This morning I wanted to start the day out with some real sting, and I was still very turned on by my dreams.

My bottom is no longer as sore as my left shoulder is now (I’m a lefty self spanker), but it was a sensitive, yet cozy hot drive to work today once I got underway. I haven’t spanked myself to orgasm in a very long time. It’s an odd experience, because there’s no direct contact … same as in a wet dream. So after I accomplished my spanking and got off, I wasn’t quite done.

As is the norm, after waking in the state I did and engaging in the behaviors I did this morning, my erogenous zones are still very awake. I don’t have any implements with me, but there’s a spatula in my hotel room’s fully equipped kitchen.

Don’t worry, I will abstain. Ewwwww! I don’t even want to think about what any dish, surface or device has been used for what in the hotels I have to stay at. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve found still wrapped condoms and playboy magazines peeking out from under the mattress after I’ve refused room service for a few days and the mattress has slipped. I’ll just chalk it up to “always travel with a paddle, wooden spoon or bath brush.” I’m here for several more nights… I may just have to hit a grocery store for a new wooden spoon/spatula set…

Thank you Paul & Danielle for your comments to my last post. I’m hanging in … like a bad penny, I just keep bouncing back and showing up in the change. Life is … I can whine, piss & moan, or roll with it and see what/where I’m supposed to end up.

;)

patty

This week I completed a long three day assignment that was pretty complex and can hardly believe that I’ve gotten the whole thing written and my portion wrapped up in just one 4th day. Of course there are two levels of review to go through before I can close the book altogether, but hey, for at least a day in my life, I’m up to date.

Ahhhhhhh …. enjoying the moment.

I feel well again today too. First time since I got my blood sugars under control in March, before I got swine flu.

I haven’t been sleeping well since then … After waking up at 1 AM and giving up and staying up all the rest of the wee morning hours then dragging through work all day Monday, I was so whipped that I crashed as soon as I got home, so guess what, I was up again at 1 AM Tuesday. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I gave up again, only this time I got up and went to work at 5 AM. I had things to do that going in that early actually made easier to accomplish so there was a bit of a blessing in that. Thank goodness for the sleep gods on Tuesday evening. I crashed again shortly after I got home, this time when I woke up just before midnight, I went pee & miraculously fell back into deep sleep almost as soon as I crawled back to bed. I surfaced again at 5 am, watched news, and hit work again at 7:30. Wednesday was kind of long, but since my body seemed to want sleep early I found myself under the covers and asleep before 10 pm (hours later than the previous two days, but as soon as my spirit moved me), so when 5 am came around again today, I was up, rested and ready to go. I watched TV, cuddled my kitties and waited for my 6:50 alarm. I got to my office too early (I don’t have a code to disable the security alarm … for clarification, my job assignments - the ones I can go to early - are all field assignments that are out of my office) so I went to breakfast, came back and got to my desk fifteen minutes early. 5:03 pm - my reports were done and I was picking up to go home. I can’t remember the last time I was able to close out my work and leave almost exactly on time in the whole time I’ve been in this job.

Again, sigh….. ahhhhhhhh … just a bit of a revel. It’ll probably be a long time before I can say this again, but hey, today is today, and it’s been a good day.

Only one thing would make it a “best day” and that would be if it could close with a bit of an ‘edgy-good-girl-but-watch-it’ spanking.

Ever want/get/give one of those kinds of spankings? A spanking that’s desired and welcomed, but just a bit harder and more than she/he was expecting because out there lingers a history of breaching the expectations that were met this time?

I have to confess that I’ve both wanted/appreciated it, and felt it was unfair/begrudged the times when I was gifted with one of those kind of spankings. To analyze the why’s of my own different reactions is a whole new post…. Ahhhh inspiration again…

p.s. (for you young’uns) the phrase “wouldn’t a pow go good now?” comes from a 1960’s end of the day or after stress brand name ‘Dow’ beer commercial that used the catch phrase “wouldn’t a Dow go good now?”

Yeah I’ve been scarce.

I’m trying to find inspiration to write spanking content, but so close on the heels of saying a spanking good by to my buddy, I’ve been less than motivated. I’m guessing that most of you friends understand that life changes impact all aspects of being including blogging. I’m working on (but not happy with) new chapters of three of the stories you guys want more of (WW, Spitfire & Spankford wives). Staying focused and motivated has been a challenge because I’m being distracted by feeling lonely and some thing I didn’t expect.

I’m battling with whether I’m supposed to walk away from the great connection I had with my buddy and dare seek someone new and a deeper sense that that would be a betrayal. I’m also missing the constant contact I had with him. I don’t miss the hours/day long calls with twenty or more interruptions because he got another call or drove through a cell reception dead zone, but I do miss the interspersed long, uninterrupted and fun talks we had that wandered all over creation and the stuff we had in common. I don’t miss the arguments we had where he one upped and had to best my every accomplishment, but I do miss him telling me he thought that I’m smart and how much he respected and depended on my smarts.

So, beyond these things that have me down … is something that has me re-directing some of my energies. I’ve drafted a precursor to a fictionalized (though based on my real experiences) novel about my life as a hospital Critical Care nurse Educator, and Quality/Risk Management Director. It’s attracted some attention and interest from two publishing houses. We’re not talking 2 - 3 hundred bucks a chapter that spanking pay sites pay, or the 25 to 100 dollar commissions I get for drawings; we’re talking, get some potentially publishable work done and we’ll pay you $XXX,XXX as an advance. Thing is I’m struggling with the ethics of writing a tell all book about what I know about healthcare and patient safety. I know both sides. I have secret knowledge of what the healthcare industry and more pointedly doctors & their hospital committees fight tooth and nail to keep hidden …

AOL published this today in an article about whether or not people could be scared to death for real. One slide stated, “you are most likely to die in an accident … car crash…” I’ve studied the reality and actually reviewed and drilled down into the statistics. Nope AOL’s claim is simply NOT true. How you got to hospital not factored in, every hour in the US, 11 people will die in hospital as a result of medical errors. The converse statistic [both published by the CDC] is that every hour in the US 5 people will die as a result of a car accident (regardless of cause).

It is more than twice as dangerous to be a hospital patient in the hands of conscientious healthcare workers, for any reason, than it is to drive the highways with the drunks, speeders and distracted teen drivers. Unbelievable, but true.

I know why healthcare is so deadly … I’ve lived it from 5 sides for almost 3 decades. I’ve been a patient, family member, nurse, analyst and leader of problem solving/practice reform teams. I must say that, in my experience, it is the rare exception to the rule that deliberate malfeasance caused any medical errors that caused serious injury, permanent disability or death, but I can say without hesitation that staff/physician lack of awareness, respect for patient safety science, and understanding and respect for the clear evidence about human factors science about the causes of error are factors in how bad outcomes occur almost 100 % of the time.

Kgwack! I hear ya ok. Get back to the fun stuff already… OK I will try.

So when will y’all get to read some substantial spanking content here? I’m workin on it … still… a week maybe more before you get an Eamon and Sheila update…. hope you’ll hang in with me… or nominate someone to spank me for being so negligent and too easily distracted as a blogger.

:) patty

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Just Life

Here is a little website I started where I can share vanilla aspects of life that I feel comfortable that my family can access too. It came about because I just upgraded my Apple software and there were some very neat new features that make it possible to create a website and add whole photo albums, slide shows and even movies that are too big to e-mail.

Also I found that my current host for the images I post here for you folks doesn’t support the apple file formats so I’m working on finding out if I can find out how to enable them on the Patty’s Gallery main site.

patty

Minitoes (aka Cinnamon) turned 15 today, and it hardly seems like yesterday that I kit-napped her from ‘mamma kitty’ (a semi friendly ferrel cat who birthed her litter in my dryer on Canada day - long story short I lived in a house on stilts by the sea shore and I had a small ramshackle shed under the house where the washer, dryer and sprinkler system were enclosed). Mamma kitty had 4 kittens, I tried to catch all of them after she began teaching them to eat/play with/kill live food. I was going to take them to be neutered. Toes and her brother were the only ones I could catch. Mamma kitty moved the others before I could catch them or her. I kept both kit-napped kittens. Toes’ brother passed at age two from ‘lung worm.’ Toes has out lived the two kitties and two dogs I already had when she joined our family, as well as a kitty I adopted when it was 10 (her owners had to give her up due to a move - she lived to be 18). Now my sweet lovey dovey little kitty is what her Vet calls a geriatric cat. She takes medicine for blood pressure and glaucoma in one eye and she’s become so allergic to ordinary cat food so badly that when she manages to get into it she literally rubs her whiskers off due to the itch. She’s crafty too - she prefers regular food so every chance she gets she scoff her new little (not so little anymore really) brother’s crunchies and leaves her hypoallergenic crunchies untouched. Toes weighs 9 lbs.

And so now we have Scrapscallion … he came to us a a tiny 3 lb stray that our vet’s kids found lost on a cold rainy night. They nursed him through some upper respiratory distress and then after Toes last housemate passed away and I worried that she seemed very lonely and lethargic … Scrappy (or crappy depending on his behavior) ended up coming home with us. At 1st Toes did not like it at all, then over time she adapted. They cuddle together on my lap every evening now, though there are still squabbles over playing … he wants to play constantly - she likes it some but her stamina is waning…

Not so long ago the scruffy little scrapscallion pictured below could fit in the palm of my hand. He turned one year old in late march, and he really has grown into all that scruffy long hair…

He’s an exceptionally soft an silky little guy. Toes has very velvety fur, Scrap’s is more plush and silken.

Look how aloof he pretends to be … he was 9 months old when the above pic was taken…. He had grown to 12 lbs and now he’s 14lbs. Perfectly normal and healthy for his bone structure and probable Ragdoll mixed with local ferrel kitty heritage. Vet says he has the points (tail ears and one toe, plus the length, size, structure and amazing relaxed flexibility of a rag doll. His tail is the only remaining scruffy part of him & no amount of combing can make it look smooth… he doesn’t seem to mind, so I don’t either

Well now that he’s officially a late adolescent kitty, as you can see he’s into everything… and he plays knock everything off the shelf/table/counter pretty much daily. That top shelf he’s on is 10 feet off the floor. I used to have living house plants, some wood figures and standing books up there…. I had photos next to the TV on the lower shelf too, and the toy soldier on the shelf second from the top used to have two ears… (ok so the soldier’s hard to see -it’s between the monky puzzle tree I made in 96 [left] and the books [right]. The puff on the right (your view) is missing guess why…

Happy birthday to Mini toes & happy late birthday to Scrapscallion.

Here’s Toes tonight trying to lick my arm to make me give her scratchies … of course she got her scratchies and a lovely long body and belly rub too.

LOL! There ya go… an update on, my current housemates and source of my daily - maintain sanity - purr and cuddle therapy

;)

patty

Started out by turning off my 6 AM alarm. I was half in a dream and in it, it was Saturday morning and I grumbled at myself for setting the alarm. Fortunately I did turn on the TV. I woke up fully realizing it was Tuesday at 7 and made it to work ten minutes early. I had a buddy with me that I was assigned to mentor. Eeeep!! it would have been so wrong to be late.

We went out, did our thing, had to get permission to go over our allotted 8 hours, got it, got what we needed and I got home a 8:15 p.m. All in all it was a good day. Lots of writing to do, but nothing unmanageable (I hope). As the leader I’ve got the bulk of the work to do, but as the mentor I have to help my buddy get their stuff written and make sure they know how to do the background work that also has to be done (since they’ll have to do it all on their own eventually.)

Long day, busy day, and sort of a fun day.

A spankin’ this morning and tonight would have made it a near perfect day …. you know? Worry & stress that I’m too green to be a mentor … worry that what we found won’t fly .. and I ended up the driver (better than being the passenger, but not my favorite thing when I prefer some of the slightly longer back roads to the freeways, and I know that I’ve gotta do the freeway so as no to eat up my coworker’s time.) We made it there and back on the freeways, no issues, and exactly within the allotted time precedent all the other drivers have set. Ta Da!

So from now on I’ll clean out my back seat, keep it clean, and take my legitimate turn as the designated driver. Sigh… a minor step forward toward overcoming my driving fears…. It’s all good doncha think?

Working on my writing … lost some ground these last two days … got some lovely drawings started - have a new all in one scanner/printer/fax still in my car trunk (more than two months now) … really want to show off my new stuff … here’s hoping that energies and opportunities line up soon.

Love y’all
patty

I’m just back from another rapid turn around overnight trip and have a heavy assignment more than 50 miles away tomorrow. Tonight I’ve decided to wind down by down loading comedy albums from iTunes … Billy Connolly, Bob Newhart, Bill Cosby, Ron White, Bill Engvall, Jeanne Robertson and Ron White. They should keep me laughing for a while. I’ve got America’s funniest videos and Americaa’s funniest animal videos set to TIVO along with Reba and Two and a Half Men. My crime shows (except for two on cable … The Closer & Criminal Intent are in reruns, so going with comedy only for a while seems like a great plan.

Frankly I’m disgusted with the news media. Where was the notice that Ed McMahon passed away last week, and Farrah Fawcett’s passing is now barely an after thought in the midst of this Michael Jackson frenzy? How many ordinary anonymous families experienced the loss of a family member last week? [I guess I have a special sensitivity to this since someone very close to me passed quietly on the same day as John Kennedy Jr. It was cruel really that there was no relief from our loss because at every turn a pseudo celebrity’s passing took over every venue of relief for weeks] Mr. Jackson was a ruined, very troubled human being, the current speculative frenzy around his death is just wrong. The blessing is that he’s not here to suffer the piranha like feeding frenzy around his last moments. Ass holes like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton (two men who offer nothing at all to society, who have leached the racism card for nothing but personal gain and wealth) once again crawl (creepily and exploitively) out of the woodwork. GAG! Just leave the family alone! Let them grieve. It’s Cory Feldman’s business that he cut his friend off in his own drug addled wallow right when his friend needed him most, and then never took the time or seized any chance to reconnect - exactly why is this newsworthy? Go away you slimy press hungry freak! Millions of us have been there. Human’s make choices everyday, even though tomorrow is fleeting. Regrets just are. Wish they weren’t, but that would be a pipe dream.

Frankly, nothing but the news that he died, and his family is grieving is all any of the rest of the world desrves to know right now.

We get dealt good cards and bad cards. You can win with a bad hand and you can loose with the best hand. It’s all in how we play them. Some of us play well, some of us don’t. You’d be surprised how many wonderful families nurtured/raised progeny who never manage to master fundamental/ordinary life’s skills in-spite of the fact that this progeny has been blessed with exceptional - sometime extraordinary talents.

Some of us are never going to learn not to smother every flame of hope out of fear, some of us will eventually learn to embrace the fire. Some of us will make choices that make it possible to find happiness and peace, and some of us will make choices that invite painful outcomes. Not one of us made a wrong choice either, we acted from need, and some of us pain. If any of us could see the future, all of us would question even our very best instincts.

It’s regret that I feel I personally feel the need to work out. I regret many things and I feel blessed having been given many things. My current biggest regret is hurting one of my best friends, even if it had to be done for both of our peace of mind.

Ed McMahon, by all reports was a good egg, a friend to many and a dedicated advocate for abandoned and homeless animals. Farrah Fawcett bravely disclosed her sexual history in the hopes that others could learn about anal cancer and the risk factors for it. Michael Jackson hid from the world, and owned no believable truths about himself - he sought to be Peter Pan and failed. He could sing and he could dance, but as a man he offered nothing else but unresolved questions…. But they (Ed & Farrah) genuinely gave what Mr. M. Jackson never did - he got famous doing self aggrandizing things.

I should be more empathetic I suppose considering that in my small world I’m just as guilty. I hid, I embellished, I found my reality unworthy and I re-wrote it to conform so I could belong ….

People subjected to the piranha feedings don’t often heal. Piranha devour and destroy. Perhaps they shit out molecules that might congeal and offer a some lucky soul a second chance. Mostly they ruin lives and obliterate history. Mr. Jackson’s family don’t deserve this. Please leave them alone.

Just my thoughts.

P

Our friend Cane Master has been very crafty and also very busy … enough to make a needy spankee drool. check out all the new and diabolical toys over there at Cane-Iac