Creative Spanko Wench Blog

Ups’

Life’s good.  I have a lot of hopes for a new relationship that’s been evolving.  Except for distance, this time the red flags like: ‘just wanting to play,’ ‘being married but wanting a spankee who was ok with that,’ ‘wanting to dictate/shut down my right to my thoughts,’ ‘wanting to scold me for my religious ideas’ and ‘liking me for my art only,’ are not dominating the picture.  Time will tell, but there’s more than just warm fuzzies in the mix this time.

Downs:

My kittie Cinamon is 16.  For the last year she’s had a kind of seizure disorder that makes her compulsively lick herself.  I’ve ruled out fleas, pests and food allergies.  I think it began with a scorpion sting 18 months ago.  Well, her licking has become so frantic and constant that I’m seriously worrying about her quality of life.  She is literally licking herself to peices and her muzzle is eroding so badly that her upper lips are furrless stumps and her wiskers are broken stumps too.  I’m mourning the choice that is looming.  She’s the last living link to a life that’s lost to me now except in memories.  She still purrs and seeks cuddles, but her tormented licking is so sad to watch. 

I’m off this week, but I got three phone calls from co-workers asking what was up.  Two office workers were supposedly tasked with packing up my office stuff.  What’s up they asked.  I don’t know to be honest.  Well apparently mine and some other jobs (last hired 1st gone) went away with mandated budget cut backs. Be aware that as of today I’ve had no personal or direct notification that my job is gone, but my employee ID is no longer valid on the human resources page.  How cowardly can it be that an employer could dump an employee without any attempt at direct contact?  Well limbo ain’t the worst place to be, but it ain’t comfortable.

I’m in the middle of filing chapter 13 (banckruptcy) as I find myself involuntarily unemployed for the 1st time in my life.  I’ve got maybe 3,000 bucks to see me through life, job hunting and relocation over the next ???????????? period.  It’s scary and my sleep is affected.

In between:

I’m out from under a toxic work situation.  The actual job was wonderful.  The baggage that went with it was becoming untenable and destructive.  I (for the 1st time in my career) had a manager with compassion but no willingness to act on it to stand up for employees, and in the end interest only in saving their own job.  I could complain that I should have stayed where before embarking this ship when I was well enough situated, but I was starting to flail there, and ultimately change is positive.  (I’ve had ruthless boses who tried to sacrifice me, but never one who pretended to care and still sacrificed me.)  So here I am, starting over by necessity rather than by choice.  Can I do it?  I’m on the verge of no where to go.  Eye opening for sure.

This site — blog, gallery & satin & leather is paid for up until Aug 2010. If I can’t find an income by then, well, I’ll be gone until I get back on my feet.  I’ll save what I can, but obviously not everything is portable.

OK, back to the ups…..  I’ve got a lot of blessings to be thankful for.  My family friends & loyal readers being 1st.  My cinnamon toes monster brat kitty has been with me 16 years.  I’ve had some amazing life experiences and will have more.

Change is always scary.  Seriously though, if any one knows of artistic, nursing, writing or (God help me a combination of) opportunities that will help me make ends meet keep me in mind & send me heads up.

Well there it is…  Unemployed, in foreclosure/bankruptcy and at the end of my financial tether.  Yet there’s a glimer of light…. hmmmmm what’s next?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm and is filed under Spanking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.